New fashion trend makes you look a lot fatter when you wear it – on purpose!

Ever wonder why bum bags are so-called, given that the majority of people tend to wear them round their front bits?

It’s some thing that’s always bothered us here at the Dave Desk, but not as much as the fact that they’re pretty rubbish when it comes to carrying out their main function – ie. keeping your valuables safe.

We mean, if you’re a mugger and want to target a tourist on vacation you don’t have to look very hard to work out which is the guy who A. doesn’t have clue where he’s going and B. is carrying all his money in a small cloth pouch over his groin.

Plus, other than wearing a pair of flip flops and white knee socks, they’re also the biggest fashion catastrophe.

Until now.

The good news is that someone’s come up with an alternative which is sure to keep secure your treasured possessions while you’re out and about in a strange land.

The bad news is that’s probably not going to help you look any more desirable to the opposite sex than the traditional bum bag did.

It’s a fake hairy beer gut, designed to hang corpulently over the elasticated waistline of your shorts, in which you can store everything from you wallet and house keys and dignity or cooling can of shandy.

Designed by aptly named London art director Albert Pukies, the yuckily life-like ‘DadBag’ will also give you a glimpse at what you might look like 20 or so years in the future – dragging behind you a couple of kids, dog and a missus who increasingly struggles to hide her disaffection every time that wobbly muffin-top of a midrift pops its head out from under your T-shirt to say hello.